It’s done!!! The waiting begins …

Medical Packet = SENT!

I was totally not expecting to be able to send my medical packet today! Coming into the week I still had one form for my physician to sign, and was waiting on my final gyno paperwork (waiting on some results), and a few additional blood work results. I was thinking it would take a few days this week to get all that together because I start a new job tomorrow and don’t have much time after that. I was wrong!

I went into my physician this morning and she was happy to sign the paper … a quick trip. Then, this afternoon my gyno called and said my paperwork was done and ready to pick up. She spoke with me over the phone about the results so I didn’t need to wait for an actual appoinment. I was on my way home so I changed directions and went straight to the clinic. At the front desk was the packet I needed, ready for me to take with me! I also had a thought when I got there … my physician and gyno clinic are connected (same organization) so all my blood work would be on their system. I asked if it the blood work was done and if so, if I could have a copy … the answers were yes and yes! So, I walked out of there with EVERYTHING I need!

I went straight over to Kinko’s Office (literally across the street). I made copies of everything, packed it all up, and shipped it out! I paid extra money to send it overnight just so I know it will get there as soon as possible. They had wanted it last week for my October nomination, but told me I’d have a little wiggle room with that … hopefully I’m still in the running for that date.

It was so weird sending the packet out. It’s been sitting next to me on my passenger seat for the last two weeks. I feel like it became a part of me! I had so many appointments, so many forms, it feels weird being done with it! But, I’m so ready for the next part of the process.

The waiting now begins … I’m hoping because of my quick nomination date that they get to my packet fairly soon. My six week date is August 23rd (if I’m right about where they are sending me), which means they still have quite awhile … hopefully they don’t wait that long!

Today is also strange because it’s the first day I actually feel excited. I know most people will read that and think, what the heck? How has she not been excited about PC up until this point? I don’t really know how to explain it. I only decided to join PC on May 16th so it has only been a little over a month. I’ve spent the last six weeks or so in a daze. I’ve made the decision, but it hasn’t seemed real. I haven’t really gotten to a point where I actaully comprehend what I’m doing. But today, sending that packet, I just got this feeling in my gut. There is nothing else in my way. Granted, they could come back to me with additional paperwork, a medical hold, legal issues, etc … but they also might not. And if they don’t, they could send me an invite, and I could be going! Crazy …

I’m super excited now. I think about the experience of getting on a plane and starting a brand new chapter in my life … something HUGE and EXCITING and INCREDIBLE! I cannot wait …

But I have to … the next step lies in their hands!

Almost Done!!

Medical has been such a long and tedious process … well, technically I can’t say it’s been too long since I just received my medical packet on June 14th (only ten days ago) … however, the tedious part is definitely true.

In the last two weeks (I had my first appointment prior to receiving my medical packet) I have been to the eye doctor twice (didn’t complete the form correctly the first time, the dentist once, my general physician four times, my gynecologist, my therapist, and this afternoon I’ll be hitting up my previous physician. Overall, I’ve had ten different medical visits in two weeks. Whoa!

Good news is, I’m almost done! I’m waiting on one set of results from a few titers I had done on Wednesday as well as the results from my gyno trip from Monday. The titer results should arrive in the mail by Monday, and I’ll have to make a trip in to pick up my paperwork from the gyno sometime next week (hopefully early on) … aside from that, I’m DONE! No more needles, no more consults, no more paperwork … thank goodness!

With the end of all of that though comes some apprehension. I mentioned briefly in my last post my belief that I wasn’t going to make my October nomination. So many factors put me in the mindset that this medical process would stop me from making that date. Whether it be the simple fact that it takes forever for medical clearance to go through or the potential holds I believed I’d have, I prepared myself NOT to be leaving in October and NOT to be going to the Pacific Islands.

Now it seems that everything is moving quickly and that the potential medical hold I was expecting may not actually be an issue … so the possibility of going in October is now actually a possibility again … and I’m not sure how I feel about it. I was preparing myself for more time at home with friends and family, more time to save money for when I get back, more time to mentally get a handle on this life changing experience … I did only apply a month ago, this has been quick!

Part of me wants that extra time. Part of me wants to tell placement that I cannot leave in October and hope for a new nomination. The issue with that is that there might not be one … I could have gone through this entire medical process and then lose my chance if I tell them October is a no go. So I feel like I have to proceed and just jump in with two feet … but that’s scary.

So anyway, the process is still moving along quickly. Medical is almost in the mail, the bulk being completed … and then I’ll see what my future entails!

Medical Updates – ALL POSITIVE!!!

**Word of Warning: For those few males who follow my blog and don’t want to read about my recent doctor visits, this post is not for you 🙂

Okay, so I have some great updates when it comes to medical! I have been stressing out the last few weeks about so many things – meeting their quick deadline, my abnormal pap results, my previous anxiety, what I’m going to do if I dont’ leave in October, etc. Through the course of all of that though, I’ve been truckin’ along on my medical appointments and paperwork and today brought along some really great progress.

1) Timeline – I’ve missed their deadline … they wanted paperwork back today and there was no freakin’ way that was happening … so I’m just going at my own pace. I sent an email a few weeks ago about my concern for meeting the deadline and they said technically I had until middle of July to still be considered for my October nomination … so no worries, I’m getting there!

2) Dental – I think I already posted on that … dental is done and no major problems so that’s ready to send.

3) Eye Doctor – I posted about my frustration that my eye doctor didn’t fill in my frame measurements … he basically told me that section was impossible to know the numbers for. Today I went to a neighboring eye clinic. They took my glasses, wrote down the numbers from on the inside, and I was done in 30 seconds. Done with that portion … and needless to say I’m switching eye doctors 🙂

4) Abnormal Paps – This is the exciting part! I had an appointment with an actual gyno today to have her fill out the paperwork requested from PC because of my abnormal paps (I usually have my work done through my general doctor). This was the best appointment ever!

First, she gave me tons of information that my general doctor had never given me about my condition (abnormal pap, AS-CUS cells, HPV positive). She informed me of the spectrum of abnormalities, wehre I fall, what treatment options are and who they usually advice them for, etc. So much info I wish I had last year.

Anyway, she basically told me that I’m the lowest grade there is. She said on the abnormal spectrum I’m only on the first step and the only reason they originally did a colposcopy is because I’m HPV positive. The colposcopy results are also the lowest grade there is, which means I pretty much have no risk of it turning into anything …

The great part about that is that she is going to recommend that I only need a 12 months HPV screening … which means my original check up plan of every 6 months isn’t necessary. She is going to say that as long as I can get an HPV test to make sure it’s gone (which she assumes it will be a year from now) then I’m good to go and don’t need anything else. She did a second colposcopy today to verify my condition, but she says everything looks like I’m on the track to recovery …

She also said that even if I get a positive HPV result at my year check up during PC, I still wouldn’t be required to get treatment because of where I stand on the spectrum. She said I’d be able to go another year before another HPV test … so really, I should be good to go.

So, I’m hoping PC will look at that as an abnormal that requires no treatment and clear me as good to serve! I don’t see why they wouldn’t, aside from the fact that they are sticklers and take no chances 😦 even though PC could still put a medical hold, I’m feeling much more optimistic than I was the last few weeks!

5) Physical – I have my last appointment scheduled with my doc on Wednesday to finish up the physical paperwork … I need one more piece of blood work for chicken pox but other than that I should have that on Wednesday.

6) Therapist – I’m seeing my therapist on Thursday morning for a final eval and for her to fill out my paperwork. I haven’t seen her in five years so hopefully it’ll be a quick appointment though I think she’s doing a full new eval to ensure I’m not still dealing with my anxiety … however, I have no issues currently (and haven’t for years) so that should be good too.

Longgggg story short, once I get my final results from the colposcopy early next week I’ll be good to go sending in my medical packet … and then I’ll be crossing my fingers!

Final note, in prepping myself for a medical hold and the potential to not leave in October, I kinda got used to having a few more months here … now I have to change that mindset again now that there’s a potential it really will work out! Oye … the ups and downs of the app process are wearing me out!

Crossroads … what to do?

I’m at a really difficult spot right now and I honestly have no idea what to do. I apologize in advance for this post – it might ramble or make no sense … but, if it does make sense and you happen to have any input as to what I should do, I’d love the advice!

Right now my situation stands like this: I’m planning on returning to my school district next year even though I have a nomination for October. I don’t think medical will go through in time, so I need to work. If it does go through early enough, I’ll resign before the start of the year. If it’s too late, I’ll talk to placement about not being available because of work and give them a new availability date in hopes of a new nomination. Given that I’m qualified to be a teacher trainer and they struggle to find people for that, I’m assuming I’ll be able to get another nomination later. Then, I’ll just work until I leave, leaving at semester or something.

That’s been the plan all along, however, I had an issue come up at work this week. Backstory on that – I don’t really like my job much. I don’t feel at home there. I don’t feel respected by my peers beacuse of my age (I’m 26 any are all in their 30s and 40s, with far more years of experience). My principal loves me but I struggle within my department. So anyway, rumors started going around that I was planning on keeping PC a secret until I got an invite and then I was just going to up and leave without giving any notice or anything. That’s absolutely not true and I hate that my colleagues would even think that. I quelled those rumors with an email to my staff today, and it turned into a huge uproar. Long story short, I’m realizing how much I dislike this job and how difficult it is going to be for me to come back next year, even if for only a small about of time.

Here is my issue. If I don’t go back in the fall and don’t get accepted by PC for October, what am I going to do? I need to make enough money to live, but not having a teaching job would make it difficult. I could substitute or get an office job but I’m not sure I’d make enough to survive.

So, here are my options.

1) Suck it up. Go back to the school I’m at and hope either October goes through or something fairly soon after that … though medical is going to decide that … I have a feeling I have a hold coming. If it gets postponed for a long time, then I’m in a school I don’t want to be in for another year. I don’t know if I can handle that.

2) Find another job, not teaching. Decide now not to go back next year and find a job immediately. That gives me work over the summer into next year. I could quit at any time for the PC, but would necessarily make the money that I need to survive.

3) Put off PC … I could tell PC that I cannot leave until June of next year and get a teaching job at another school. This would give me the salary I need and get me into a school I might enjoy more … but, it means going from thinking I was leaving in October to leaving in June, which is 8 months later. I’ve been so set on leaving soon that the idea of being here for another year (from now) is difficult. I don’t want to be living an entire year with one foot in and one foot out as another applicant put it.

So, I don’t know what to do. I want PC so badly, but I also want out of my work situation, and I need to keep making money in order to keep up with bills.

I’m still working through medical to hopefully get that process going. If October is still an option I want to be sure to do my part to get it … but, knowing that I’ll most likely have a medical hold for a bit, I have to consider my other options.

Ugh … I hate stress.

Trekkin’ Along the Medical Road

Medical is … well, medical. It’s pretty much exactly what everyone has said it would be. Difficult. Tedious. Overwhelming. Discouraging. But I’m doing it. As I said in my last post, I have TONS of extra work to do.

Yesterday I got things started. I went to my dentist and got that all taken care of. My dentist reported absolutely nothing that would cause concern so that should be an easy clear. Only question is whether I should send that now and get it cleared and then send everything else when that’s ready? I know dental is a separate clear so it might be beneficial to get it done?

Anyway, I also went to the eye doctor and got that form filled out … they were NOT helpful. They left three things blank and I don’t know what to do. The first line asks for frame measurements. He said every pair of frames is different. I said I had mine and he said it didn’t matter. So, he didn’t fill it out. What do I do? I NEVER wear my glasses … ever. Like I probably wouldn’t even bring then with me. Can I just write that in a personal statement? Or do I go to another doctor?

I also have an appointment with my gyno on Monday and one with my therapist next Thursday. One more with my physician next week as well; I think that’s on Tuesday … then hopefully I’ll have everything to turn in.

So, I’m getting there … people at work are starting to ask my plans. As a teacher, I’m expected to come back in September. Unfortunately, right now I have no idea if my October nomination is going to go through. I can’t tell them anything and probably won’t be able to ALL summer … I hate leaving it that way. They deserve to know who their staff is going to be … but, at the same time, I have every right to resign at any time for whatever reason so I shouldn’t care. But I do.

So, I’m trekkin’! Making progress … wishing it was alllllll done. Soon enough. Soon enough.

Totally Overwhelmed by Medical

Holy crap … I received my medical packet today – finally. And, as I started to go through it I realized that there is absolutely no way I’m going to make my deadline. They wanted the packet back by the 21st, which is Monday, and there is no way is the world that is ever going to happen.

I’m so overwhelmed.

Looking through the packet there are soooo many things they want from me given my history with different issues:

1. Physicial – obviously … I have most of that stuff done already, just forgot to get a test proving I’m immune to chickenpox and I think I need to get titers for the MMR stuff since I don’t remember if I ever had my first shot … just the booster. Other than that, physical should be easy.

2. Dentist – going in tomorrow … also easy. No issues last time in six months ago, wisdom teeth already out, no sore teeth so probably no cavities. Good to go on that too.

Then comes the fun stuff …

3. Gyno – gotta see a specialist because of my abnormal … this will take forever to schedule. I may have one in my doctor’s office that could fit me in but probably have to see a specialist outisde the office. Damn. This is the one I’m also worried about for a PC Medical Hold.

4. Therapist – need to schedule meeting with therapist … going in next week, but she said she’d probably need to see me twice because of the extensiveness of the form. They want a new evaluation, which means two visits. God I hope my insurance covers that.

5. Physician again – Yes, a different one. I have to fill out a form with all my previous psychotropic drugs from my past anxiety. All of this was done with a different doctor, so I have to get all of that from that office instead.

6. Personal statement – They want a personal statement for all the conditions I checked yes to. Technically that’s only one document but the list of things they want me to include in the personal statement is lengthy … could take awhile.

I’m just feeling very defeated. First, this packet makes me feel crazy … I haven’t had an anxiety attack in five years, yet this packet makes me feel like I’m incompetent to serve. I know it’s just precautions, but its tough to be looked at under a microscope like this. I don’t like it.

I’m also kissing Pacific Islands goodbye. First, this paperwork just isn’t going to happen in time. I physically cannot get in to all these doctors in such a short amount of time. There is no possible way to make it happen. And second, my gyno stuff is probably going to cause a Medical Hold anyway …

So, while I’m struggling through this packet, I’m also having to come to terms with a change in nomination, which means different location and different leave time.

I know my last post was that I was okay with that, but it still takes some getting used to.

Now that I’ve vented, I’m off to try and schedule some of these appointments.

At Peace with It

If you’ve been following my blog at all, you know that I’m on a very fast track toward my October nomination. I sent in my application less than a month ago and have been working extremely quickly to get through this process for a potential October leave date. Recently, I had a few setbacks of potential medical issues that I’ve been very stressed about. I’ve been concerned about not making the current nomination and having to push back my leave time.

And I seriously need to chill out …

Such a quick turn around is not the usual. If I do get pushed back to January, February, or even later in the spring, I’ll still be within the normal 9-12 month turn around that PC usually quotes. I’ll be waiting just as long as everyone else for an invite. I’ll be on the same exact track as almost every applicant. Why do I have to be special and get it done in five months? I should be able to wait just like everyone else.

In addition, being here longer allows me so many opportunities. I can save up some money to have in the bank for when I leave. This would allow me to do a little bit of traveling while I’m gone (around my host country and the area) and also have some saved for when I get back. I could be sure to visit people and see everyone I want to see before I go. There are so many reasons why leaving a little later would be good … and there is no reason I need to be out of here in October … other than the fact that living in the Pacific Islands for two years has kinda grown on me!

Long story short, I’m at peace with the idea of being put on hold with medical. I’m okay with not meeting the quick deadlines for keeping this nomination moving. Whatever happens happens. I’m still working diligently to get all my medical paperwork in as fast as possible just in case no holds come up, but if they do, I’m okay.

On that note, PC finally updated my toolkit today saying the medical paperwork was finally sent. I received an email last Friday saying it was being sent out that day, but it didn’t actually get sent until today – an entire week later. In order to meet their deadline, I’ll have four days with paperwork in hand to get everything completed. I’m going to do my best, but again, if I can’t do it I can’t do it … I’ll send it in when it’s done.

Might have some problems …

I had my first medical appointment yesterday to get all my labs started … things with that went fairly well … seven vials of blood. Eww. I also received my polio and MMR boosters and started my TB test. Looks like all of those are well on their way and results should be back next week sometime.

However, it looks like I could have some issues. I discussed with my doctor the abnormal results of my paps. First abnormal was last January, then October, then April of this year. It isn’t too seriously – slightly ASCUS, very low grade … nothing is getting worse, but nothing has gotten better yet either. I talked with her about what the potential dangers would be of me going and missing the six month appointment this year.  She said she’d talk to one of the specialty doctors (gyno I’ m assuming) but she didn’t sound too thrilled about the idea. She said that my “treatment” right now is six month intervals for two years or until I receive three normal exams in a row. I haven’t even received one normal yet.

I’m not really sure what that means; she didn’t fill me in on what her recommendation was since she’s going to talk to a specialist … but it doesn’t sound good. I’m hoping that she’ll be okay with me waiting until I get one normal test, but then calling that good. However, she has the call on that one 😦

When I go back in next week I’m going to ask her what my options are – ask about the LEEP procedure and see if that’s even a possibility, or what she recommends for getting a normal result … but, worst case scenario I have to wait for three consecutive normal tests which would mean I wouldn’t be medically cleared until next summer 😦 I don’t think that’ll happen; I think one clear test will be fine, but I’m still prepping for the possibility of a long delay.

Needless to say, I’m not too thrilled right now.

Medical Starts Today

Just a quick post. Medical starts today. I haven’t received my packet yet, but I downloaded the unofficial copy from the PCWIKI and am taking it in to get all the necessary blood work and such started. I’m expecting to be pricked and prodded for a few blood tests as well as for the TB test. I’m also thinking I’ll just have them give me the immunizations I’m lacking (Polio and MMR) because I know I haven’t gotten them … and then if I need others based on my titer test I can get those later.

I guess this marks the start of a VERY long two weeks to get all this stuff in by the 21st!

Timeline for the next 2 weeks

Today – Physician Visit #1
Tuesday – Eye Doctor
Wednesday – Physician #2 (TB test results)
Thursday – Physician #3 (hopefully, for physical, etc, once med packet arrives)
Next Tuesday – Dentist
Next Thursday – Physician #4 (hopefully, for final blood work and wrap up stuff)
Next Friday – Send Paperwork

We’ll see if that happens 🙂

An Emotional Day

I find it rather interesting how emotions work, or at least how they work for me … the way it usually works for me is in waves. There are days or weeks when everything will be fairly uneventful, no big emotional events to speak of, but then a wave will crash down and everything becomes an emotional mess. Today seemed to be the start of one of those waves.

My uncle passed away this morning. He’s been battling stage 4 lung cancer since November and lost that battle today. It was time – he was suffering and it’s what was best – but obviously it’s still a very sad event. What is interesting is that when I found out I didn’t feel much of anything. I’m not sure whether I was numb or just hadn’t put two and two together, but I made it through most of the day without so much as a tear. However, I spent the evening with my best friend and in the middle of our relaxing evening, I burst into tears. It honestly came out of nowhere and I cried harder than I have in a very long time.

And have you ever had one of those moments where you’re crying about one thing, and then you start thinking about something else and that makes you cry even harder? It’s like a chain of events type of thing.

Well, in the midst of letting out my sadness about my uncle, I started thinking about my best friend who was there consoling me. He’s such an incredible person and proved again tonight how much of a support system he is for me. So, in the midst of crying on his shoulder I began thinking about how hard it is going to be to leave him for 27 months. I really hate to say it but of everyone I’m leaving behind, family included, he is the one I am most sad about being away from. I think it’s because I know my family will definitely be there when I get back – you can’t really get away from family 🙂 but, my friend and I have been through some pretty interesting places with regard to our relationship and I worry that things will change for us while I’m gone … and his friendship is the sole friendship in my life that I really do not want to see change.

I talked to him about it tonight, and he says that of the two of us he should be the one who is worried. He says my concerns of him meeting someone, getting a new job, finding a new place to live, and moving on without leaving a place for me in his life is unwarranted. He says in reality he should be worried that this experience is going to change me and that I’m going to come back a completely different person … I guess he has a legitimate point there. I guess I’m just not ready to face the fact that this decision is most definitely going to change our friendship whether I like it or not …

So tonight has been emotional to say the least, and for whatever reason I feel like the emotional wave isn’t done yet. I can’t explain it, I just feel like there is still a bit more to come … I’m preparing myself.

One final thought … it’s interesting how everything in life is now funneled through what I like to call the “Peace Corps Perspective”. After you apply for the PC, it’s like everything you think about is now in the context of the Peace Corps and how it relates. I feel like everything I think about whether it be friends, job, etc., or what I’m going to do tomorrow or next week is all in the context of the PC … Should I get a summer job? Well, it would help save money for PC … Should I go on that blind date next weekend? Well, do you really want to start dating if you’re going to ship out in a few months? … What should I do this weekend? Well, if you’re leaving in October you should definitely try and hang out with your friends and family as much as you can.

It’s weird that in a matter of two weeks everything I am doing has a PC spin … I’m not sure if it’s a good thing or a bad thing, but I have a feeling it’s not something that is going to go away anytime soon.

I guess that’s it for tonight … a bit scattered to say the least. As I said earlier, it’s been an emotional evening. Time for sleep.