Crossroads … what to do?
June 17, 2010
I’m at a really difficult spot right now and I honestly have no idea what to do. I apologize in advance for this post – it might ramble or make no sense … but, if it does make sense and you happen to have any input as to what I should do, I’d love the advice!
Right now my situation stands like this: I’m planning on returning to my school district next year even though I have a nomination for October. I don’t think medical will go through in time, so I need to work. If it does go through early enough, I’ll resign before the start of the year. If it’s too late, I’ll talk to placement about not being available because of work and give them a new availability date in hopes of a new nomination. Given that I’m qualified to be a teacher trainer and they struggle to find people for that, I’m assuming I’ll be able to get another nomination later. Then, I’ll just work until I leave, leaving at semester or something.
That’s been the plan all along, however, I had an issue come up at work this week. Backstory on that – I don’t really like my job much. I don’t feel at home there. I don’t feel respected by my peers beacuse of my age (I’m 26 any are all in their 30s and 40s, with far more years of experience). My principal loves me but I struggle within my department. So anyway, rumors started going around that I was planning on keeping PC a secret until I got an invite and then I was just going to up and leave without giving any notice or anything. That’s absolutely not true and I hate that my colleagues would even think that. I quelled those rumors with an email to my staff today, and it turned into a huge uproar. Long story short, I’m realizing how much I dislike this job and how difficult it is going to be for me to come back next year, even if for only a small about of time.
Here is my issue. If I don’t go back in the fall and don’t get accepted by PC for October, what am I going to do? I need to make enough money to live, but not having a teaching job would make it difficult. I could substitute or get an office job but I’m not sure I’d make enough to survive.
So, here are my options.
1) Suck it up. Go back to the school I’m at and hope either October goes through or something fairly soon after that … though medical is going to decide that … I have a feeling I have a hold coming. If it gets postponed for a long time, then I’m in a school I don’t want to be in for another year. I don’t know if I can handle that.
2) Find another job, not teaching. Decide now not to go back next year and find a job immediately. That gives me work over the summer into next year. I could quit at any time for the PC, but would necessarily make the money that I need to survive.
3) Put off PC … I could tell PC that I cannot leave until June of next year and get a teaching job at another school. This would give me the salary I need and get me into a school I might enjoy more … but, it means going from thinking I was leaving in October to leaving in June, which is 8 months later. I’ve been so set on leaving soon that the idea of being here for another year (from now) is difficult. I don’t want to be living an entire year with one foot in and one foot out as another applicant put it.
So, I don’t know what to do. I want PC so badly, but I also want out of my work situation, and I need to keep making money in order to keep up with bills.
I’m still working through medical to hopefully get that process going. If October is still an option I want to be sure to do my part to get it … but, knowing that I’ll most likely have a medical hold for a bit, I have to consider my other options.
Ugh … I hate stress.